Spread thin.
Hashtag current mood. Seriously I’m in a good place but also so much is happening which is part of the reason I’m so slow to put out these past couple of podcast episodes. I know I can’t do it all even if I want to. I think acceptance of this fact is the first step to getting back to a more whole place and be able to make progress once again. But it’s a big step as I have said when you want to take it all on it can make acceptance of not being able to do it all a bit more difficult.
Too much to do, too many directions too many loose ends how do I stop and realign myself and navigate toward what I need to. How do I figure out and choose what path is most right for me at a given time. How do I cope with the Guilt I feel for not paying attention to one idea over another. It’s like having to choose over friends. Who gets to sit at my table while the others sit on the shelf until time allows further exploration.
Spread too thin not enough of myself to go around.
I find when I’m in the moment of being spread too thin I feel a sense of crippling like all of the sudden I’m wearing 10 ton boots and I can’t move and nothing gets done and I feel exhausted overwhelmed worried and guilty but nothing is getting done what can I do? Its partly my own fault for creating too many idea paths having too many creative directions and not moving forward with one particular one. It’s like starting multiple recipes and not having enough room on the stove to cook them all and then the food rots. Do you have a pile of old ideas that sit lost in your studio somewhere I’m sure you do. I think most people have them, so what do you do when you’re in the midst of creating potential rot piles.
I think for myself It’s about learning to balance different aspects of life, for instance I have been freelancing as well as working on personal creative projects as well as interviewing for full-time design jobs as well as beginning a new exciting design job and also taking care of the house doing home projects and general life errands and trying to balance special requests from friends and family. It all can be quite a full plate leaving not much room for anything else especially yourself.
I need the downtime of simply just sitting doing nothing.
In order to prepare myself for whatever next big project I’m going to jump into. I need to quiet my mind and almost feel bored like I’m in a creative hibernation to get myself excited for being activated again with whatever creative project I’ll be working on. it helps my focus taking this dedicated moment of stillness where nothing is interrupting or distracting me. This time I set for myself makes me feel refreshed and cleanses my palate like washing my brain making my ideas brighter and bolder when I am activated again after this restful moment.
So how do I find time for this restful moment? Well it definitely takes a bit of work and carving your life in a new focused path.
Phase One:
For me I made the choice to wake up an extra hour earlier dedicating that time to just sitting... I have some mantra phrases I say to myself at moments to keep this going and stay the course early on it’s not easy to change sleep habits... when I wake up I simply think “wake and make” I need to rise and make my morning latte which is a homemade process using an expresso pot I cook on the stove this regimented process kick starts my day.
Phase Two:
From here I then go to phase 2 of my morning ritual that I call Sit & Sip it’s a peaceful thoughtful time that is not meant for anything other than drinking the expresso I just made and sorting or quieting my thoughts as I sit. This morning ritual / meditation practice has helped me a great deal in feeling more peaceful and whole greeting the new day. It’s nice to feel in the same rhythm of the planet, rising with the sun I start my day witnessing a slow graceful rise of the sun getting to watch the varied Colors shift in the sky as the sun takes center stage it feels like I am in alignment rising as well trying to match that gracefulness as best as I can manage.
During this time I appreciate all the people animals and love in my life and really feel grateful for all the good things in my life. I feel a peaceful wash of joy over me knowing at this moment in time though I can’t take on everything or fix everything I feel a wonderful abundance and I am happy to have all that I have.
The power of saying no.
We can’t take on everything, we can’t be all the things to everyone so we need to recognize and respect the boundaries we set for ourselves. Take on the things that fit and help make you better and in turn make others better too. A focused personal path will hopefully help aid in making one not feel spread too thin. Creating boundaries can maybe start with making compartmentalized time blocks. Chunks of time you dedicate toward one idea or task. Giving that task or idea your full attention. I have used the insight timer app that is used for meditation but I use to to simply set a solid 60 minutes of dedicated drawing or whatever task I want to help push along. The focused intent put onto whatever task in my mind feels like a form of meditation in a way.
The thing is life as it is now is pretty fast paced and chaotic, challenging the most disciplined for sure. So don’t be hard on yourself for feeling like you can’t do it all. Be kind to yourself set up peaceful moments just for you to be quiet in thought or daydream. Allow yourself a self imposed downtime. We all rush around doing too much for everyone else all the time we need to slow down and let ourselves catch up and breathe and say no.
So what about all the rot piles of ideas?
The way I have seen them is I choose to write my ideas down and even though for a while they sit on a shelf I do return to them. I gave the idea thought recognition in taking the time to sketching it out saving it for later when I feel like the time is right for deeper exploration. Having a set time to think is a great space to be able to revisit your old ideas and see how new life can be sparked into them. Sometimes ideas need to sit and ripen then when you find each other again it may be ready to blossom.
It is a constant struggle to not feel pulled into so many directions but one worth fighting for.
Dedicate and set up the personal space for yourself to help give room for ideas to breathe and speak louder or even if they whisper you can hear them when they speak to you. I suggest listening to episode 3 Environment is Everything as I believe setting up an optimized space can be helpful in making you feel more calm less chaotic helping bring fourth those ideas.
This modern life is certainly a difficult upsetting one to navigate at times everyone is trying to steal your attention taking you away from yourself. In regard to social Media and online be aware of those time thief’s and consider muting them or turning off notifications if you find it pulls your attention into a not so good place. Whatever feeling you sense from these things may be anxiety, jealousy, depression or anger. Too much of these things are toxic if they are mental spam remove them from your life by adjusting your settings on whatever apps you use. We all only have so much time let’s not waste it on others nonsense others circus’s they’re not ours we have our own tigers and clowns to orchestrate daily.
Carve out time, restructure, adjust and shift your Reality.
With a few minor tweaks and awareness of what’s needed and not you can start to feel less pull from all these sources. Sure there are days when you feel like you can’t avoid it all but I think it is in large part up to us to set up the boundaries of what we will accept into our lives. If you’re not taking control of that in life others will certainly harvest your attention and time.
Nurturing yourself and your ideas:
I’d like to end this show with an old fairy tale called the three golden hairs which is featured in the incredible book
Women Who Run with the Wolves
By: Clarissa Pinkola Estés, PhD
a book I highly recommend a personal favorite of mine! So this particular story really captures the symbolism of an idea that is on the verge of dying but what happens to it when it is nurtured and loved and given time to grow and have a rebirth a renewal of life. And the story goes like this:
The Three Gold HairsOnce, when it was deepest, darkest night, the sort of night when the land is black and the trees seem like gnarled hands against the dark blue sky, it was on exactly this kind of night that a lone old man staggered through the forest. Though boughs scratched his face, half-blinding his eyes, he held out a tiny lantern before him. Therein the candle burned lower and lower.The old man was a sight to behold with his long yellow hair, cracked yellow teeth, and curved amber fingernails. His back was rounded like a bag of flour, and so ancient was he that his skin hung in furbelows from chin, arms, and hips.
The old one progressed through the forest by grasping a sapling and pulling his body forward, grasping another sapling, and pulling himself forward, and with this rowing motion and by the small breath left in him, he made his way through the forest.Every bone in his feet pained like fire. The owls in the trees screeched right along with his joints as he propelled himself forward in the dark. Way off in the distance, there was a tiny flickering light, a cottage, a fire, a home, a place of rest, and he labored toward that little light. Just as he reached the door, he was so tired, so exhausted, the tiny light in his little lantern died, and the old man fell through the door and collapsed.”“Inside was an old woman sitting before a beautiful roaring fire, and now she hurried to his side, gathered him into her arms, and carried him to the fire.
She held him in her arms as a mother holds her child. She sat and rocked him in her rocking chair. There they were, the poor frail old man, just a sack of bones, and the strong old woman rocking him back and forth saying, “There, there. There, there. There, there." And she rocked him all through the night, and by the time it was not yet morning but almost, he had grown much younger, he was now a beautiful young man with golden hair and long strong limbs. And still she rocked him. “There, there. There, there. There, there.” And as morning approached even more closely, the young man had turned into a very small and very beautiful child with golden hair plaited like wheat.
Just at the moment of dawn, the old woman plucked three hairs very quickly from the child’s beautiful head and threw them to the tiles. They sounded like this: Tiiiiiiiing! Tiiiiiiiiiing! Tiiiiiiiiiing!And the little child in her arms crawled down from her lap and ran to the door. Looking back at the old woman for a moment, he gave her a dazzling smile, then turned and flew up into the sky to become the brilliant morning sun.
Excerpt From
Women Who Run with the Wolves
Clarissa Pinkola Estés, PhD
Till next time I’m Angie,
now go be peaceful shutdown
and sit still and
dream yourselves awake.
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